Today at University I saw a zombie. It was like the textbook definition of an undead human:

• he was very pale, almost a pasty white
• his expression was one of emptiness, with a touch of sadness and remorse
• his eyes were open and aware, but it was obvious that he wasn’t seeing anything; a blank stare
• his mouth was open slightly, as if about to speak, but never actually doing so
• his legs seemed to be very limp – his feet dragged more than they stepped

The only thing missing was the decaying skin and absence of limbs or other vital body parts. It took note of all this in the 5 seconds it took me to walk past him. He was shuffling his way in the opposite direction down the hallway, and I couldn’t help but pull my sweater down over any exposed skin, as not to taunt him with my non-undead flesh. I’ll keep my eyes and ears open for any reports of bitings. If none, I will safely assume that he either expired somewhere near a dumpster or his head was removed/brain was destroyed by some brave zombie hunter.

(For those of you who have seen the movie Shawn of the Dead (absolutely excellent, you must watch it if you haven’t), It reminded me of the zombie kids at the very beginning of the movie, when they are all shuffling down the back alley, nodding their heads to their music. You will also be the only people who see the humour in the post title.)