Why is there such thing as ‘new car’ scented air fresheners? Firstly, new cars don’t smell very good – it’s like a combination of factory and robots. Secondly, why would you want to make your old car smell like it’s new? It’s obvious that you did not just buy your car, so making it smell like you did is pretty much calling yourself both a liar and an unskilled hoodwinker.

It’s like a nasty old lady wearing a skirt and fishnets. We can all see past your little tricks.