Something I’ve Always Wanted To Do

I’ve always thought it would be fucking cool to be caught in this situation:

You’re walking down the street all by yourself, and are coming toward an intersection. You look one way, you don’t see anyone coming, so you cross the street. Right then, seemingly out of nowhere, a car comes racing at you from the other direction. You can barely turn your head to see what’s happening before it’s almost at you. You have less than a second to react; what do you do?

The ultimate solution for this problem would be to hop onto the hood of the car, jump off the windshield, watch as the car passes underneath, land safely on the sidewalk behind it, and just keep walking like nothing happened.

If someone was to see this happen, they would instantly think that you are the coolest cat in town, and that you have some impressive ninja evasion skills. I wish someday that someone will try and slaughter me vehicularly so I can put my idea to motion.

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Miley Cyrus Magic

In the song See You Again by Miley Cyrus (or her alias, Hannah Montana), there’s one part that blows my mind whenever I hear it. The subtle mixture of bass and vocals makes me shiver with happiness whenever it comes on. It’s like Jesus himself is dishing out these almighty drum beats. If you want to listen to it in context, it’s from approximately 2:33 - 2:36.

Disclaimer: I am not a fan of Miley. My attraction to the three seconds of one of her singles is purely coincidental; it could have been any song by any artist.

Stop Motion Animation!

My first stop-motion project is complete. Enjoy!

Annoyance!

If I was a horse, old people asking me to explain technological things to them would be the annoying 4 year-old kid that constantly tries to stuff handfuls upon handfuls of grass into my mouth.

Epic Dream

Last night, I had an epic dream. I’ve been going over it again and again in my head all day trying to cement it into my memory, but still some of it has slipped away from me. I’ll do the best to explain it:

I was walking down a hallway (in a mall, I assume), and I noticed a cellphone store on my right. So, since I needed a cellphone (in the dream, I guess) I turned and walked in. It was a really small rectangular store that was modeled almost exactly like a videogame/movie store that I used to work at. Anyway, I walked in, and there were three people working. Two of them were walking around, doing things that store employees would usually do, but the one guy was different. He was a big man. Not fat, just big. He was moving in a really strange way. Like he was going really fast, but at the same time, seemed to be in slow motion. (It’s hard to explain, but it’ll make sense later.) I sort of shrugged it off as a little bit weird, but whatever. As I looked around the room for cellphones that I would like to buy, I noticed that instead of the normal display models that most stores have, their display models were massive arm-length cellphones, built to scale, that actually worked. Literally, the buttons were about the size of two postage stamps laid side by side. Anyway, when I opened the phone up, a little window popped onto the screen and read:

Help! Press ASD to slow down.

So, without thinking about it, I pressed ASD. I looked around, and noticed that the two workers were working in SLOW MOTION! Pressing those buttons had made me go so fast that everything else slowed down. Everything except the one big guy. He was walking and working the same speed as me. When he saw me, he stopped and stared. Then, for some reason, I walked up to him and gave him a hug. My head came up to about the middle of his chest.

And then my alarm went off. It was one of those dreams that when you wake up, you try to go back to sleep to ‘continue’ the dream, but it never works. When I got dressed, I went to the computer and my cellphone and tried pressing ASD, but nothing happened. If I ever see a super-big cellphone like the one I saw in my dream, I’m totally going to slow down time.